She feels the luckies girl in the world, only 21 with a baby on the way
She feels she's all alone, she feels she's got no support
Her mom and dad don't know so she can't tell them what's going on
Still in college thinking bout her future ahead
Thinking bout Criminal Justice, perhaps become a cop
Put an end to all the violence, put an end to all the pain
The days go by and her belly gets big, the father doesn't know, she ain't ready to speak
Everyday they joke around saying our lil one is kicking back
Inside my tummy he is, now give me a kiss you punk
The day finally comes, she blurs everything out
"I don't believe what you're saying, I know you just playing"
She's got no reason to lie, this is a baby she's got
He's afraid of the consequences, it's a flashback from the past
He doesn't want the same thing to happen like the shit with his ex
Looking at his eyes she breaks down and cries
Time is hard enough as it is, do you even have a clue?
We can't have this baby, what are we to do?
Thinking bout their options they decide to go with abortion
With computer in hand they find the nearest center in town
~**~
An hour after abortion and she's feeling regret
Emotions come and go with tears running down her face
Nights are sad and cold, like walking into an empty abandon building
She picks up the phone and dials the 831 number, waiting for the pick up tone
He don't answer, what's wrong?, Could he be doing me wrong?
Laying in bed she waits holding her tummy real thight
There's something missing insede,it's her baby, he's gone
There's nothing she can do but deal with the pain and be sad
It;s monday morning getting ready for the day
From Victoria's Secret perfume, to the shining star necklace hanging from her neck
But it isn't any star, it symbolizes what she's lost
Lil ____ it's the name, close to her hearth he will always stay
Looking at herself in the mirror she feels hate, can't hold her breath no longer, her pain is so intense
She's got her man by her side, the one she loves
She gives him her full love, but feels like she's only getting half back
She feels alone and ignored, and only to god can she pray
"Please lord take this pain away before it becomes too late"
Her mind is full of thoughts, she's surrounded but she feels all alone
Suicide thoughts come to her head
She can't stop it, she can't help it,it's all in her mind she says....
"My Lil One"
It hurts to say goodbye when you’re no by my side
But what kills me the most is that I didn’t get to meet my lil one
I would’ve given anything to have him in my arms
But now it’s too late cuz I’m up in the sky
Just watching over you and watching over my lil one
~*******~
Now that I’m gone I don’t want you to cry
Just look up at the sky and I’ll be right there by your side
Remember those memories, remember those times
When we were together like Bonnie and Clyde
You are not alone; you’ve got our boy by your side
He meant the world to me and I miss him so much
I remember the day that I gave you the news
To be a dad never crossed your mind, it was a shock to you
We just couldn’t understand how this could happen to us
Everything was a dream come true, but then came the bad news
Either I or he wouldn’t be able to make it
And deep inside I was dying and hearth broken, how could this happen to me
Could this be a punishment for what I’ve done?
If I could I would give my life to see my lil one
And I guess I did cuz now im gone..
He’s my lil one; I’m his angel in the sky
Wasn’t there to see him happy, I wasn’t there to see him walk
He meant the world to me and I miss him soo much
“Daddy where’s mommy?, really breaks my hearth
Just imagine him asking you that, what are you gonna say
Can’t lie to him, he has to know the truth
“Mommy is gone, she’s up in the sky with the angels watching over us”…
Now this piece is for someone really special to me, someone thats been rite there by my side, and now that we have something special coming our way i want to let him know how i feel about him...hope he is reading this!!!!
“Him”(you)
Let me tell you the story of the boy that I meet
He’s the one that’s been rite there by my side
I remember like, it was just yesterday
When I first meet him in my least favorite class
It was something that I never thought I would feel
something so sweet, it was something so real
H thought me to care, he thought me to love
He even thought me what life can really be
Ever since the day that we meet, I can’t get you of my head
It’s just so hard for me to concentrate
My friends are saying, that we wouldn’t last
But together we proved how wrong she really was
Everytime I’m with you, I’m feeling so good
Just knowing you’re here to keep me safe from the bad
With so many shit going through our heads
Together we learned to conquer our worst fears
Yeah, I made some mistakes, till this day I regret
But meeting you do doesn’t even compare baby
I remember the day I made that mistake
You were right there to hold my hand and give me support
If loving you is wrong, than I don’t wanna be right
I’ll rather be as wrong, as wrong as I can
I would never do anything, to hurt you baby
So don’t think about that cuz with me you’ll always be happy
I never meet a guy that’s been by my side
Through the good, and throught the bad times that we’ve had
Theres no other man that I could ever trusth
Cuz you’ve always been there to give me a helping hand
So im ending this poem, I just wanna let you know
That I’m sorry for falling in love with you baby
I know you warned me, but now it’s too late
This love that I have just keeps growing and growing everyday
This is a very old piece that i've had since i was in high school. I wrote it cuz of all the fucked up shit that i did n didn't really treasure what i have, now i regret everythin and thats why i posted this up..this poem is for my mom...I Love You Mom!
Sorry Mom-12/18/07
Thinking bout the days when I was a teen with my wild related ways
My mom would always say, “What’s with you?”
Only 18 and doing fucked up shit
Skipping school to kick it with my friends
Cause they were the ones that cared about me
Felt alone with nothing in this world
School full of problems, didn’t have the strength to face them
Every day I would ditch to be with the boy I thought I loved
But then realized I was doing wrong
Gave everything for him, and I lost my mom’s trust
The advice she gave, seemed like a joke to me
Till the day I saw tears running down her face
How can I do this to the one that’s always there for me
To the one that showed me love when no one else did
Now all I do is think of all the fucked up shit I did for a guy
And all the lies I had to say to skip class
All the stupid shit I did for the guy I thought I loved
But now it’s my mom whom I think about
I should’ve loved her and offer her my trust
It’s too late now, and all I do is cry
I wasn’t there to say I love you mom
I wasn’t there to see her smile, or to feel her healing touch
Now when I’m in trouble, who am I going to talk to?
Cause every day that passes by, it just kills me inside
To find out that I’m losing my mom’s love and trust
For a guy that wasn’t worth a thing
